Becoming Real

“Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.”

I love that bit in the Velveteen rabbit. Becoming real is a process, and it can sometimes be uncomfortable and leave us feeling worn and shabby. I've been in the washing wheel of an accelerated and painful phase of becoming real. Of learning not to seek external validation, but to find internal worth. I'm guilty of seeing myself as good, or valuable, and worthy of love because other people think I am, instead of deeply knowing it within myself. Recently I've had a painful experience of losing a special friendship, partly because of what I did wrong, and I can only hope that the shabbiness of love and vulnerability will make me more real. 
This weekend we were camping in Vermont and I spent time thinking about living authentically and how to connect and find strength and nourishment for my wild side. That free side of me that loves to write, run,  skinny dip, sing loudly and be simply and wholly  me. My creative soul and imaginative self. I've lost that in the past few months with all that has happened in my personal life. I also find it harder to nourish that side of me when I am injured and can't run, which I have been for almost a year now. (Finally getting better, fingers crossed). 

I spent time observing how close to the surface the wildness is in Iris, her creative free spirit, and how beautiful it is. I don't want to squash it. I want to do what I can to help her to know that her truest self is her most valuable self and that the value that counts is the value that she knows. Not value put on her by test results, or talents, or beauty.

This weekend we road-tripped 4 hours north to a remote park in Vermont. We swam in the beautiful lake, we built a fire, I read in the hammock we bought (it felt utterly glorious), we saw a bear in the wild for the first time. We had a sprint in the rain, picked blueberries, shared a tent, and told scary fireside stories. We listened to each other and connected. We also listened to Roald Dahl and laughed at the phraseology of the dear BFG. Such wisdom and kindness are hidden in his muddled English!  

It was wonderful. It was real, and it was building connections for my kids with their wild and true souls. 



  1. Love this entry so much. And the quotation from the Velveteen Rabbit is one of my favourites too!


Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

An introduction to the blog title and first sights

A goose's opinion (by Iris)

Honey, I've shrunk!